16 - Old Notes

Back when I was 15, I created my first blog with the domain address: www.hrix.blogspot.com titled "moonless night". I met so many friends that I've never actually met; different race, different culture, different generations. Sadly, for unknown reasons, google deleted my account and I've never recovered its contents.

Earlier today, I came across my "Death Note"; something I was so fascinated with when I was young, and hola. It contains some of my writings when I was a teen. Let me share with you my old notes, words I've written in the middle of the class, words weaved inside my mind in random walks on the park.

(1) Quantum Principle

Applying the quantum principle of physics, the inner light transported me to the other side of the universe to fall endlessly for you.

(2) Heavenly Bodies

You are the sun in my horizon

the heavenly body that lights up my entity.

I am your moon -

I shine because you shine.

(3) Eternity

Until the day eternity meets its finality, I am for you.

(4) Big Bang Theory

Different veins and chemicals collided and exploded forming in it an existence that sustains my life

-You are that entity. My heart's sanctuary.

(5) Untitled

Trying to escape from the frigidity chaining me,

memories flashed back.

I've seen death the moment I chose my ambitions over my heart.

I am sure there were longer posts, and there were poems and stuff. But well, this is everything I've salvaged from my young heart.

Love,

Hrix

08 - Wisdom in Broken Things

Since the blackout weeks ago due to the Typhoon Haiyan (commonly known as Yolanda in the PH), our microwave stopped working properly. A loud noise erupts from it every time it is plugged; thus lead us to the conclusion that the thing is broken and in need of repair. I was on the verge of telling my mom that we should probably replace it, but argued against it as she was determined to have it sent to the repair shop instead. See, my mom was 35 when she had me. We came from two very different generations. During her time, broken things are fixed not replaced. During our time, we practically replace things that are broken, even those that are only worn-down.

This morning, despite the knowledge that our microwave isn't working, I opened the thing and had my spaghetti heated. To my surprise, the loud noise was gone, the food was heated properly, and there was no sign nor indication that it was broken at all. And then it dawned on me: there is wisdom in broken things.

Some things, some people, fix themselves on their own, in their own given time. It is not something that one could impose on them. You cannot force someone to be okay when he/she is not. We should give him/her the time to get into terms with himself/herself. And while it's true that time could only heal wounds, but retains the scars, I personally believe we could choose how we wear those scars.

The heart is a resilient thing. It can never be irreparably broken.

08.25.14

07 - Sequel

No matter how good an opera is, no matter how climactic, how touching, how romantic, how perfect, how beautiful, a movie, a story, a book, a day, a song --- it ends --- With a cliffhanger. With a goodbye. With a dot, or a sigh. With tears and grief and hearts breaking. With silence. --as the credits roll. The last word uttered. The last tear fell. The last act executed. The last note played. 

______________

"I love you. Until we meet again.

No. Until we are ready for each other again."

7.22.2014

06 - Je t'aime

A song,
a laugh,
a smile.

A poem,
a tear,
a sigh.

A dream.
a memory,
I cry.

_________________________________

-Even the air that I breathe and the flowers in a June summer day and the cold rain that pours lightly, then violently on the surface of my being. Even with each passer-by, strangers whose names I would never know, whose only fault was being in the right place at the very time my eyes landed upon the earth where we stand. And even with my eyes closed, even in the darkness whereas no light could even reach, no life could have ever existed
--- I could see you. God, I could only see you.

"I am heavy with the weight of missing you, my dear."

6.30.2014

04 - Lost & Found

In finding you,

I have lost myself.

In finding myself,

I have lost you.

11.17.13