44 - Happy Hallow's Eve

I'm sure a lot of us, if not all, has experienced how it's like to have a nightmare. Bad dreams that will make you jolt awake at night, sweaty palms and racing heartbeat. But have you ever had a dream that felt so real? Something that kept you from moving, like your body's paralyzed and somehow you know you're dreaming and you want yourself to wake up in the real world, but it's a struggle? A dream so creepy it makes even your baby hair to stand just the thought of it? I do. Ever since I started trying to keep track of my dreams (telling it to friends the moment I wake up so I don't forget) ; I have noticed that there is this particular bad dream that re-occurred, and this is how it goes.

I am in the middle of a living room in a house that I'm not familiar with. My cousins are with me, and we were looking at a closed door leading to a room, Nobody in the dream wants to open the door because there's a demon (lady in white with black face as I imagine it in my dream) inside. The room itself was emanating negative energy. But like how most horror movies go, I'm the protagonist of my dream who is so brave and so curious that I would actually march up to that door. Both my legs and arms feel heavy and I hear a cacophony of crazy and scary voices, but I still manage to hold the knob and turn it. And the moment I open the door, I wake up -- screaming.

When I had this dream last March 2020, I told a friend about it. How batshit scared I was and how the dream felt so familiar, like I've seen how it played before. I had to look up at my messenger chats to my other friends in search for anything - because if I have dreamed about the same thing, I'm sure I told someone, and there it was. I read that on the same day of March 2019, I had the exact same dream and I was telling someone else about it. Imagine the horror when I realized.

Will I get the same dream this March 2021? I wonder.

Happy Hallow's Eve.

43 - They say

You know what old people say, wait for a year or two, maybe three in a relationship and the feelings will eventually fade. They say that the first couple of months is the honeymoon stage and once you get to know each other on a deeper, more personal level, you'll see each other's flaws. They say that those flaws you may love in the onset, but if you give it time, those might be the very things you will hate about your partner. They say you never truly know a person until you marry him and you live together and you see him on both his highest and lowest points.

They say when all those strong emotions fade, what matters is character and the friendship and respect that you've built over the years. That when you're looking for a partner, you should go for someone who can make you feel secured, someone you can imagine having kids, even grandkids with. That above everything else, this is a companionship. Our bodies will eventually get old and our youth, energy, beauty they will all wither.

All those things they say in hope to enlighten us about the realities of relationships. That having a life together is not all about romance. That there will be hard days - and tweetums will not be enough to save you on those days. And I think. And I ponder. And I contemplate. But no matter how hard and long I look at it, at us, the future seems neither scary not discouraging at all. 

I have come to a conclusion that what they say isn't wrong. But I refuse to believe that would be our only reality. I hope we can take a look as to when we are old and gray and still together and tell our children, our grandchildren, how love transcends time. That even in our 70s we're still never past the honeymoon stage that we got in when we're in our 20s. That while there are so many mediocre things in this life, our love is not one of them. G?

42 - You

I have always believed that life has already disillusioned me about love. I have learned the following points growing up: that your first love may not be your last love, that someone you have known for years can still betray your trust if they choose to. That someone can be a good person, and still hurt you when things are no longer convenient for them. That someone can spend as much time as he wants to with you, and still fake it. And as much as you do not want to admit it, sometimes, you're the one hurting those who love you.

As much as I prayed for a love that's not mediocre, I also do not long for it. Forgive me when I was skeptic when I met you. I thought to myself that it was just a passing affection, that you, like the others before you, will just further disillusion me about love and relationships that I will end up saying, there it goes again. Thank you, next.

But I was wrong.

You make me feel like I haven't loved at all.

You are my first real great love, who has not yet in any way betrayed my trust - and if someday we hurt each other I hope we go back to this day and remember how much love we have and just get over it, -

You give more than what you take.

You are a good person, and you, as much as you can, choose to understand even when I am the one being unreasonable.

You always make time for me, despite and in spite. No excuses.

Above all, you make me want to be a better person. 

We were on our way to the office. You carried my lunch box which we didn't know had a leak of adobo sauce, which then stained your pants. I thought to myself, today is the day that I will see how you handle life's accidents. Are you hot-headed? Do you have a temper? Do you have a desire to control, even the uncontrollable? Are you someone I can handle? Will you blame me for it? Will you blame the lunchbox for it? I was holding my breath. For seconds, all those questions flooded my mind. And as much as I want to sympathize with your predicament, I also want to know the answer to these. I never expected what happens next. -- There were no hisses / tsksss. There were no angry remarks. No curses have been uttered. Just a simple, calm, "Oh well, shit happens. Can you go to the office first? I'll wait for the mall to open so I can buy a new pair of pants." There you were, flashing me a genuine smile, concerned if I can walk my way to the office even when it’s just a footbridge away. And God in that moment, I fall in love with you even more.

40 - I can't write

I can't write happiness and love at the same time.

There is not enough words to give justice to how I feel about you, to how you make me feel about life. Contented is not even the word to describe it. This is far more than contentment. This is far more than everything I've prayed and dreamed and hoped for love to be. God you are far more.

J'etaime.  

39 - 10

Isa. Isang tao lang ang minahal ko ng lubos. Halos lahat ibinigay ko pero sa huli hindi pa din naging sapat. Bakit hindi naging sapat ang isa? Bakit kami dalawa?

Dalawa. Dalawang mata ang isinarado ko. Hinayaan ang sariling magbulag bulagan sayo. Ang tanga tanga ko. Umaasang ang tatlo

Tatlo. Tatlong taong relasyon. Tatlong taong kasiyahan na nauwi sa kasinungalingan, kalokohan at sakita. Ang tatlong taong pagkakaibigan, pagkaka-ibigan, ay nagtapos sa apat.

Apat. Apat na salita, nagbago ang lahat. "Hindi na kita mahal." Hindi. Na. Kita. Mahal. Paulit ulit. Paulit ulit. Paulit ulit. Apat na salita at nahati ang mundo ko sa lima.

Lima. Limang araw ang pinalipas. Nagbabakasakaling magbago ang isipan. Baka pag hindi mo na ako nakikita, ako'y iyong maala-ala at kalakip noon ang pag-ibig na minsan mo nang pinadama. Maghihintay ako. Maghihintay hanggang sa di na namalayang anim

Anim. Anim na buwan na ang nakalipas nang makita ulit kita. Putangina. May kasama ka nang iba. Kaya naman pito

Pito. Pitong bote ng alak ang nilaklak ko para makalimutan ang sakit. Pero hindi ako iniwan nito. sa pagtulog. Sa paggising sa umaga. Habang naglalakad. May kasama man o wala. Walang pinipiling oras. Walang pinipiling pagkakataon.

Walo. Siyam. Sampu. Sa totoo lamang, hindi natapos ang sulatin na 'to. The year was 2013, pitong taon na ang lumipas at sa nagdaang taon, ito ang napatunayan ko: Talo ng tunay na pag-ibig ang unang pag-ibig.

37 - As If It Is My First Love

Have you ever fallen in love with a person, not for how they look but for how their eyes twinkle when they look at you? Not for how they dress but for how warm their body feels when they put you in a tight embrace? Not for their As and academic achievements but for how free flowing conversations are with them? Not for the digits in their bank account but for how they would make time, always, for you?

You fall in love with their heart. You fall in love with their spirit. Realizing that at the end of the day, it is never their physical beauty nor the material things that they could offer that could sustain you with life, but rather their bare, naked soul. Finally, you see them all flawed and scarred, and you fall in love not on their full potential but for what they actually are.

It is an enlightening experience to rediscover love, as if it is your first love.

36 - Romblown Me Away

The barkada trip that we've been drawing since time immemorial is finally painted into life. We were originally planning to go to Siargao (it being one of the top local destinations during the past year), but for some reason we ended up booking plane tickets to Romblon; and lo, we were all blown away!

This trip happened March of 2019. Back when I posted the photos on facebook, a lot of my friends messaged me asking for the 'budget' and 'itinerary', which by that time up til now (sorry guys) I was not able to provide because of the following reasons:

1. Our friends who are working abroad paid for the hotel. (thanks guys, you know who you are :P)
2. I never participated in the preparations; I just nodded my head in agreement to all of their suggestions without even reading a thing in our group chat, hehe.

But here, just to share with you the things we did, and the places we visited.

HOW WE GOT THERE:

We booked our flight through Cebu Pacific, from NAIA T4 to Romblon Airport (Barangay Tugdan, Alcantara, Romblon). Please note that Romblon, Romblon is a different island. If you want to go there directly, you could ride a ferry (you could search it in google).

note: Flights aren't scheduled daily; back then available days were Wednesdays, Fridays & Sundays.

WHERE WE STAYED:

Romblon isn't as developed as other local tourist destinations; back then, it was very hard to search for accommodations at Romblon, Romblon (we didn't find Airbnbs nor budget hotels; it didn't help as well that the change from Siargao to Romblon was sooo last minute and the first few hotels that our -organizer friends- contacted can no longer accommodate us. We ended up checking in at Aglicay Beach Resort, which is located at Tablas.

(see screenshot of google map for better imagination:)

Land Transfer from Airport to Aglicay Beach Resort Options:
A. Van - you may try arranging this with the hotel
B. Tricycle - you may actually negotiate with the drivers if you haven't arranged with any tour companies your transportation for the duration of your stay.

Note that it will take you at least 30 minutes to get to the hotel from the airport (if you're riding a van); add another 15 minutes if it's a trike.

Aglicay Beach Resort boasts a picturesque scenery with clear, pristine waters perfect for a whole day swim. It also offers recreational activities to its guests such as beach volleyball, videoke, frisbee, billiards, etc. Food though is a bit expensive for its taste, but it's not like we have a choice since there are no nearby restaurants. Signal is very weak as well; which is perfect if  you want to disconnect from the outside world.

Food Tip: You could buy from the sari-sari stores in the bayan and ask the resort personnel to cook for you. They'll charge you cooking fee of P90 if I remember it right.

Signal Tip: Globe > Smart in this place. I am a Smart subscriber and I only get to send messages when I'm staying near the shore. How near? Waves were touching my feet!

Here's their website: http://aglicaybeachresort.com

Day 1: Aglicay Beach Resort - Rest. Eat. Appreciate. Repeat.

theviewfromwhereIstand

Aglicay Beach Resort is <3

sunset on our first day

Day 2: Carabao Island

How to get there: Get a van or tricycle going to Santa Fe.

Daytour: Our friend arranged a daytour with a boatman (whose contact details she stumbled upon when she was reading other blogs about this)

Possible Option: Well, Carabao Island is 20minutes away from Boracay. You may want to consider :)

Activities: Cliff Jumping and well, Eating. Note though that food here is expensive. We paid P500 per head for our lunch.

waiting for the sunrise

blue water

cliff jump: everything you want is on the other side of fear

Day 3: Romblon, Romblon

So for Day 3, we went to Romblon, Romblon. If you'll be staying in Tablas (just like us), please research for the SCHEDULE of the ferry online because said schedule is subject to change. We had to wait for hours because we got an outdated information.

The first thing we did when we got to Romblon, Romblon is to buy marble souvenirs. (We won't be riding a ferry back; we hired a private boat so we had to buy our pasalubongs before the inland tour starts). We bought food as well which we will be bringing to the beaches we're going to.

BonBon Beach

Sandbar

RomBlown Us Awayyyy!

We went to another beach but sadly, I don't have the pictures. We alighted at San Agustin where our transpo back to the hotel was waiting for us.

Day 4: Fish Sanctuary

And now we're down to our last day. Our flight is in the afternoon so we decided to use our morning to explore Looc where the Fish Sanctuary is located. We brought skyflakes with us so we could feed the fish. You may also opt to swim with them! No worries, there's a restroom back to the tourism office where you could take a bath and change clothes. Fare is at P100 each; those who would rent gears will have to pay an additional P50.

fish feeding program

Gihigugma Tika, Romblon!

And then we're back.

PS. Just want to share with you, we had a problem with our baggage when we were going to Tablas. Two of us (both using hard case, handcarry luggage) were told that our bags do not meet the standard specs accepted for a handcarry luggage. We had to pay for the check-in fee. Anyway, we find it really weird but we didn't argue with the airport personnel anymore. Bitterness crept when we were already inside the plane and we saw other people whose handcarry bags are even larger than ours. Oh well.