14 - LDR and Trust

LDR is a matter of trust. I have heard a lot of comments, from friends an people I care about, asking how sure am I that the one I'm with is not cheating on me; or even lying about his whereabouts or who he's with. I always answer with

"I love him and I trust him. He has not given me any reason to doubt him."

As stated earlier, LDR is a matter of trust; all relationships are a matter of trust. The gist is, trust can be so fucking fragile.

So, how do you break a person's trust? Easy. By lying and not telling the truth and cheating and the list could go on. How do you "un-break" it? You don't. Reason? Because you can't.

(Dear, you have to be painfully honest to the person you claim you love... That's how it works.)

Now I know being a thousand miles apart from each other is hard. I know a 14-hour time difference sucks. There might be times that you want to go out with your friends and even though there's no cheating involved in whatever activity you're set to do, you are still reluctant to ask for your partner's permission to go out. Probably for the reason that you've already concocted in your mind that this would start a fight. Blah blah blah. Whatever excuse you have in mind, lying is lying. Period.

So what's the best thing you can do?

1) Admit it. No excuses. Please.
2) Apologize not because your partner found out about it; but because you really are sorry for hurting his/her feelings.
3) Never do it again.

But what if you're at the receiving end? What if you're the one whose trust was broken? Well, I've only got one piece of advice for you. If you decide to take that person back after all the lying and cheating and whatnots, you. have. to. fucking. move. on. Meaning? In the future, never, for the life of it, bring up the subject. It's all in the past. You decided to forgive him/her, right? LIVE WITH IT. If you can't, then say goodbye to the relationship. No one wants a praning for a partner. And I'm sure, you do not want to be praning for the rest of your life. It's too much work.

-My 4AM thoughts. 04.29.16